Sometimes the biggest change begins with the smallest step.
Three years ago, I qualified as a Level 2 Reiki practitioner. I loved being able to give people the energy healing that I had received myself so many times over the previous decade. In these early days, I used my skills relatively sparingly, mainly offering complimentary treatments to people going through cancer treatment, within their own homes, as I had no premises to work from. This was me giving something back, as I had received complementary therapies, including Reiki, during my own cancer treatment.
I never really considered that Reiki could become the foundation of my own business, let alone something that might eventually allow me to leave my NHS career, until a very good friend said something that changed how I thought about my future. She was receiving Reiki from me, and in an after-treatment chat, she told me to go and “build a life you love.” Those words have stayed with me ever since. There was never any advice to quit my job, spend thousands of pounds or reinvent myself overnight. She simply empowered me to believe that I could create something different, something that I would love doing while helping others.
Sometimes, having someone believe in you before you quite believe in yourself is enough to get you moving.
What does “building a life you love” actually mean?
It means exactly what it says on the tin! It could be a career change, it could be a change in the home, a relationship change, absolutely anything small or huge – but something that brings you joy, or maybe even freedom, safety or peace.
And it certainly doesn't have to mean starting a business. It might mean changing a habit or behaviour, setting a boundary in a relationship, changing a relationship, making changes to your home or finding a little time to do something just for you. It doesn't have to be dramatic or life-changing to anybody else. Sometimes the smallest change can make an enormous difference to how you feel about your own life.
For me, it means having more freedom, more choice and the opportunity to spend my working life doing something I genuinely love, without the 12-hour shifts, with time to spend with my family, learning new skills and passing the benefits of these onto my clients. I've worked in the NHS for many years, and midwifery will always be part of who I am. But as I've got older, I've become increasingly aware that I want something different for the next chapter of my life. This is a big ambition, and yes, it's a bit scary. But so is the thought of doing my job until I'm 67.
Like many women in their fifties, I've spent decades working, raising a family, managing responsibilities and making sure everything that needs doing gets done. There's nothing particularly extraordinary about my story. But somewhere along the way, I realised I was allowed to want something for myself, too. The hardest part wasn't deciding what I wanted. I knew I wanted to help people. The hardest part was taking that first step.
My first attempt didn't work. It was a small business called Pure Birth. I threw myself into it enthusiastically, without enough planning, and after six months I realised it wasn't sustainable, so I shelved it. At the time, that was disappointing. But looking back, it taught me something important: trying something that doesn't work isn't the same as failing.
I'd learned what I didn't want, what wasn't practical and what I needed to do differently.
I didn't immediately launch into another business idea. I rested. I thought. I quietly researched, planned and imagined what I actually wanted my working life to look like. And I started again, differently. Small steps, not giant leaps.
My end goal felt enormous. Leaving the security of NHS employment to become self-employed? With a family, bills and responsibilities? Absolutely terrifying. So instead of concentrating on the entire journey, I started looking at what I could do next. I researched training, made enquiries, spoke to people I wouldn't normally have approached and looked for opportunities to build experience.
I offered treatment swaps. Reiki in exchange for a manicure might not sound like a sophisticated business strategy, but it helped me practise, make connections and build confidence. I also pulled up my big girl pants and said yes to an unexpected opportunity that I would previously have dismissed with my usual response: “Oh, that's not me.” I was scared and shy.
That decision helped me see possibilities I hadn't seriously considered before. Gradually, I began investing in myself. I trained as a clinical hypnotherapist and started bringing together my experience and training in Reiki, mindfulness, midwifery, health, fitness and nutrition. And I started building a business that reflected what I genuinely wanted to offer.
Today, I have my little Summer House therapy room, where people come for Reiki, hypnotherapy and all kinds of wellbeing support. I'm also putting plans in place to retire and return to the NHS on reduced hours, creating more time to grow my business while maintaining financial stability.
I'm not at the finish line. Not even close. But I'm considerably further forward than I was when my friend first empowered me to believe I could do this… less than a year ago.
What about money, time and all the other reasons not to?
Let's be realistic, building a life you love isn't as simple as deciding what you want and expecting everything to fall into place. Money matters. Family responsibilities matter. Health matters. And not everybody has the freedom or financial security to make enormous changes.
Setting up my business has involved costs for training, equipment, premises, insurance and all the other things you don't necessarily think about when you're excited about an idea. To fund this meant lots of overtime hours worked and no holiday this year, which all impacts my family, so their support has been crucial.
I started with a massage table and my car, offering mobile Reiki treatments to women I knew or who came through trusted recommendations. Personal safety was important, and I worked within boundaries that felt appropriate. I started where I could, with what I had.
I've also had to learn an enormous amount about running a business. For most of my working life, my understanding of money was fairly straightforward: it came in, and then it went out again!
I've since spent time learning about financial planning, marketing and business systems. I've used AI to help me understand unfamiliar processes, explore options and learn how to use platforms that previously felt completely outside my comfort zone. Technology is a minefield to me, but learning is essential. AI isn't the answer to everything, and I have no intention of handing over my autonomy, creativity or my vision for my business. But it's been a useful tool for learning the how-to. The ideas, decisions, values and direction remain mine.
And perhaps that's another part of empowerment: recognising that you don't have to know how to do everything before you begin. You can learn.
And when life gets in the way?
It will. There will be times when money is tight, family needs you, your health takes priority or you simply haven't got the energy to keep pushing forward. That's life.
I've learned that progress doesn't have to mean constantly doing more. Sometimes it means slowing down, changing the plan or putting something aside until you have the capacity to return to it. You cannot work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and expect to build a happier life in the process.
What would be the point?
Patience and compromise aren't signs that you're not committed enough. They're often what make change sustainable. A pause doesn't have to mean giving up.
So, where do you start?
If someone asked me how to begin building a life they love, I'd suggest something simple.
Create a vision board, or a mind map. It doesn't need to be elaborate. A sheet of paper, some pictures, a few words or a collection of ideas on your phone will do – just get it all down on paper because it will all come out as a big mess… and then you can organise.
Think about what you want your life to look and feel like. Not what other people expect of you, or what you think you should want. Take time to sit with your eyes closed and visualise what you want. How does it feel, smell, sound, taste and look? Write all that down too.
What matters to you? What would you like more of? What would you like to change?
Perhaps you want to feel more confident, improve your health, return to something you used to enjoy, change your working life or simply find a little more time for yourself.
Then look at your ideas and ask one question: What's the smallest step I could take towards this? Not the biggest. Not the most impressive. The smallest.
It might be asking for help, researching a course, asking someone for advice, making a phone call, trying a new activity or exploring whether something is financially possible.
You don't have to commit to changing your entire life. Just explore an option. And if it doesn't work? Learn from it. Adapt. Try something else. That's how progress happens.
This is not a promise that everything will be easy. Not a magical solution to life's problems. And certainly not the suggestion that everyone needs to completely reinvent themselves. I want people to recognise their own worth, strength and abilities, understand their options and have the confidence and practical tools to make changes that matter to them.
Sometimes that involves working through anxiety, challenging an unhelpful belief, changing a habit or simply finding the space to think about what you really want.
Sometimes it starts with somebody saying, “You could do this, you know.” I still have a long way to go before I reach my ultimate goal of full self-employment, but I'm building something that matters to me, one decision at a time, and I'm incredibly grateful that somebody encouraged me to begin.
Build a life you love.
Not a perfect life. Not somebody else's version of success. A life that feels right for you, within your own circumstances and possibilities. And if that feels too big or too frightening right now, forget about the whole journey – just take the first step.
Becci Leathley
Becci Leathley Hypnotherapy & Wellbeing
