Hyper-Vigilance in Mid-life:
Have you ever climbed into bed physically and mentally exhausted, ready to settle down, light goes off, eyes close and…. PING! Apparently, this is the perfect time for your brain to start running through tomorrow’s to-do list, replaying conversations from earlier in the day (week/month), remembering the text messages that you forgot to reply to, oh and that appointment that you need to book and the bill that needs paying?
Hyper-vigilance occurs when your brain has become hard-wired to constantly scan for potential issues, threats or problems that need your attention. It’s your subconscious mind (the automatic part of your brain) trying to keep you safe. I feel it’s important to say here (as a woman in mid-life) that hyper-vigilance is not just Menopause as we are sometimes led to believe, although fluctuating hormones don’t help. At our stage of life, we have had around 20-30 years of being the CEO of the family, every decision for the family typically goes through you first: keeping the kids alive, feeding them healthy food that they actually like, refereeing every disagreement, deciding where to shop, what to buy, when to organise, how to get there, where is the money coming from for that, who’s looking after who, and for how long? … you get the point.
The subconscious mind learns through repetition, the problem is that after that CEO life, the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a genuine emergency (a Lion bursting through the window looking for dinner, and dinner is you!) and the everyday pressures of modern life (working full-time through the school holidays, and 3 children need to be in 3 different places at the same time in the middle of a working day).
So, let me explain what is actually happening here: When humans evolved, the brain learned strategies to help us survive. You’ve heard of “fight or flight” right? This autonomic response allowed us to stay alert to predators, danger and threats. Changing environments was essential, if you were under threat you could move, and fast!! Your brain would be hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning and observing, your heart would pump faster to redirect blood away from the skin and digestive system towards the large muscles (protection of the body while supplying the muscles with the oxygen and nutrients they need), your breathing rate would increase to get oxygen to those muscles so they don’t fatigue quickly, and your blood vessels would draw inwards to reduce the risk of heavy bleeding if you were injured. You could move very quickly away from the danger zone – or you could fight and do it well!
Now, read through that again…. Hyper-vigilant, feeling under threat, heart racing too fast, breathing increasing, appearing pale and clammy as the blood flow changes, unknown danger could be moments away …. Sounds almost like a panic attack doesn’t it!! How interesting!
In these modern days, these fight-or-flight responses remain and are still vital for survival from threats and danger. However, they can be triggered by non-emergency situations such as your stress bucket overflowing, financial pressures, health worries, worrying about children, partners, parents, the endless notifications, the comparing yourself to the Instagram-perfect crew, oh and yes, there was that thing you saw on TikTok. Your subconscious mind keeps your nervous system on constant standby. The stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline remain higher than they should be, and you struggle to relax and switch off. Your subconscious mind is constantly trying to find the next perceived threat or problem. And you feel exhausted, burnt out, unable to switch off. If this sounds familiar, it means your brain has spent years practising vigilance, and as we all know, practice makes perfect!
So why can’t we just have a bubble bath, a glass of wine and relax? Well, because even then we are still scanning for issues. Just because we do the action, doesn’t mean the subconscious mind fully believes we are safe: that lion could actually want to share that bath with us!!
Hypervigilance is not a personality flaw; it is a nervous system that has become incredibly good at protecting you, but maybe it’s too good. However, brains are adaptable. The science of neuroplasticity shows us that through repeated experiences of safety, relaxation and new ways of thinking, the neural-pathways can begin to change. This is how hypnotherapy, mindfulness, relaxation techniques such as Reiki, meditation, having a massage, reading a book, journaling for example, work and change those pathways. Doing the actions on repeat (remember repetition is the key here) will allow the subconscious to believe in the safety and that these experiences allow the mind to “stand-down”. That’s how you stop simply surviving and start feeling safe again.
Further Reading:
Hölzel BK, et al. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36–43.
Kolb B, Gibb R & Robinson TE. (2003). Brain Plasticity and Behaviour. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 12(1), 1–5.
McEwen BS. (2007). Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation: Central Role of the Brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904.
https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00041.2006
